-.-. .- .-. --- ..- ... . .-..

Cut myself pretty good today.

I’d say 70% of my waking life is spent thinking about deep sea life and teeth.

YOLO is about as tolerable as FML.

Every stem of this is something that you’ve felt.

If you don’t know the pain of nipple chafing

Fuck you, I hate you.

Male customers paying with lots of $1’s love my jokes about their “weekend job”…. Female customers don’t.

Today was my day off

I went out to breakfast with two of my best friends.
Folded all that laundry
Swept my room
Watched Running Wilde
Picked up best friend from work
Went on a MAGNIFICENT bike ride
BUSTED OUT MY JORTS
Came home and ate broccoli chik’n and cheese
Now I’m in bed cuddling myself drinking wine

Whatchu guys up to ?

Boss: Who’s this ?……. Oh that’s the opera singer, right? Maybe he’ll sing Mozart.
Me: ….You cant sing Mozart.
Boss: Oh. That’s right. He’s a painter right?
Me: …A pianist.
Boss: Right.. Penis…

“

—	We are watching The Voice

Turn off : Guys that “like you” but “don’t text first”.

Fuck you. I lose interest at the lack of confidence and lack of effort put out by this notion.

I think when I was little I would have taken “Cat People Live Here” as a warning sign like I did “Deaf Child In Area”.

A mixtape filled with a plethora of aquatic lullabies : Jacques Jamz.

This is all the laundry I didn’t fold today when I had plenty of time.

Guess who is a grandma to two new babies !